I was gettin a mite sluggish this winter, and so decided as one of my new years ideas to lose some weight. I figured the best way was to do just the opposite of what I was doin. So I decided to only eat stuff that didn’t taste good. No ice cream, pizza, steaks, coffee with sugar, etc. So I got a bunch of them little diet TV dinners that stink when you microwave em.
Well, I went along for a while and then I had me a thought.I could eat lots more variety if I did it right. What if I put salt on ice cream so’s it wouldn’t taste good? Or mustard on pie? I tried it out with a big bowl of vanilla, but the salt made it taste bad so I threw the rest out, and decided not to eat any more of that mess. Sometimes when you drive up a new road, you take a wrong turn.
Actually, now I think about it, it worked. I just gotta make sure I know who I am when I do something like that. The idea thinker or the idea user.
Then while I was thinkin, I thought about doin a cookbook for people who want to lose weight. It’d be easy. Doesn’t matter what you write in it, because it’s suppose to taste bad. Pictures should look good though, to get their hopes up and get them to buy it. They get it home, try it out and everybody wins! They lose weight cause the food tastes bad, I make money cause they bought it, and if I make the book thick with lots of extra pages, they’ll need to cut a lot of trees down to make it, so maybe some unemployed loggers go back to work.
Now ordinarily when I come up with a good idea like this I’d have a cigar and a beer to celebrate. But a fake electrical cigarette and an unleaded beer don’t really sound like a celebration, so I had me a mint flavored toothpick instead. Tasted kind of good, so I poked myself with it when I was done to even things out.
